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Main Points to:
"Communication Basics-Expressive Skills"
A Small Church Community (SCC) reflects on Scripture and shares its meaning as
it impacts each members' life experience. Healthy communication skills enable an
(SCC) to grow in trust, respect, and community. The words "community",
"communion", and "communication", not only sound similar but also have a common
meaning. They each involve some form of being "one with" another. They are so
interconnected that when healthy and respectful communication exists,
"community" and communion will flourish.
"Community"
1. Reflects the bond of Christ with his Church.
2. Connects values and beliefs of its members.
3. Promotes unity among members and encourages support for one another.
Role of Facilitator:
1. Models skillful communication in both listening and speaking.
2. Assists members to develop healthy skiffs to express their feelings and
ideas.
3. Intervenes in discussions to direct members to: a. keep on topic b. sharpen
their own communication skills.
4. Fosters communication styles that express respect and encourage trust among
members.
Communication Basics: Expressive Skills
1. Congruence: matching all expressions, verbal and non-verbal, to relate the
same message. Many of our personal expressions are non-verbal rather than
verbal, e.g., eye movements, voice tones, facial expression. When body language
contradicts the spoken message, the facilitator, or another listener, may
reflect back to the speaker what is being observed, not as a conclusion, but as
an observation. For example, "You said you were happy but I seem to hear a note
of sadness in your voice."
* An important function for the SCC and especially the facilitator is helping
each other establish an atmosphere where true feelings can be expressed rather
than denied. Including emotions as well as opinions and interpretations in the
conversation helps members bring their whole selves and not only their
intellects into the study of Scripture.
Congruent communication builds trust.
2. Using "I" Language: stating thoughts and perceptions in a way that
acknowledges that they areP-- - I
from one s personal experience even though that unique perspective might be
influenced by the culture and influence of others. For example, "I think that
Paul in this passage is saying ... it or III feel anxious when you give so much
detail about your stories because I am aware that our time is limited.
An "I" language statement:
a. reports information as a personal perception and not as an undeniable fact.
b. minimizes defensiveness on the part of the listener.
c. allows the speaker to be honest while respecting the varying viewpoints of
the listener.
Using "I" language communication builds respect, that is, beholding another as
someone different and separate from oneself.
3. Concreteness: expressing observations and ideas in specifics rather than
using general terms. This skill is especially beneficial in relating Scripture
to life experiences and in giving feedback to another person about an
observation. For example, "When I read in Matthew's gospel I
remembered a time when or "I appreciated when you asked for more explanation of
*To be helpful, feedback to others should be specific in describing the
behaviors that are perceived to be helpful and those that seem to be hindering
the dialogue in the group.
Concrete communication builds community.
Discussion Question: What are some specific ways in which the facilitator of a
group can assist others to express themselves more congruently respectfully, and
clearly?
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Suggestions for Ongoing Reflection:
Read: Jeremiah 1:4-10.,
Psalm 34.
Pray:
We thank you, our God,
for the many expressions of
your life and love that surround us.
You communicate your very self to us and
have created us to express your love to others.
We thank you also for gifts of our own consciousness and self-expression.
May we
ever
proclaim your love and justice and may your praises be ever on our lips.
As we
join in
community with others,
help us to express clearly the inmost thoughts of our
hearts with one
another that we may be one in you.
And grant that we may use your gifts wisely
for the work
of your justice and peace on earth.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen |
Information Taken from...Chapter
3: Facilitating for Growth written by Barbara J. Fleischer
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